A jilted friend has been given a final chance after he went to “enormous lengths” to contact a man he met on a dating app by turning up at his workplace and sending him threatening messages.
Thomas Damps, 26, first messaged the man on Grindr in April 2023 and the two later met up, but the victim said he did not want to be in a relationship with the defendant.
Chelmsford Crown Court heard Damps refused to accept there would be no further contact between them and barraged his victim with messages using fake accounts pretending to be his own mum and brother from September 2023 to July 2024.
One message from a fake account said the defendant would kill himself if the victim did not respond to his emails.
Alban Brahimi, prosecuting, said Damps then sent the victim an image of his genitals and wrote a message which read: “I can make sure you never have sex again.”
Damps, who has served community orders for harassment and battery, told the victim he would turn up at his workplace.
Mr Brahimi said: “He has sent at least 35 emails on his own behalf under his name – that’s not to mention the chain of emails underneath.
“Some of this has been described as gaslighting, where he is giving the victim the chance to end the position, but manipulating him into making further contact.”
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Damps was eventually arrested in July 2024 and immediately confessed he had impersonated family members.
In a victim impact statement, the man said he became anxious when he walked home and scared when he found out Damps had tracked down his home address and telephone number.
Damps, of Dunkirk Road, Burnham, admitted one charge of each of stalking involving serious alarm or distress, and sending a photograph of genitals to cause alarm, distress or humiliation.
Dan Santos-Costa, mitigating, said Damps was “completely terrified” about the prospect of custody.
He said: “He can’t identify what goes through his mind when he does this, but he feels detached from reality and it is just tunnel vision in relation to this one individual.”
Recorder Emma Nash said: “And going to enormous lengths to do it – it is, on one view, incredibly elaborate.”
Mr Santos-Costa said Damps suffered from depression and autism.
Recorder Nash gave Damps a 17-month jail term, suspended for two years, and ordered him to complete 26 sessions of an accredited programme as well as 30 rehabilitation days.
He must also complete 150 hours of unpaid work and wear a GPS monitoring tag for three months.
The judge imposed a five-year restraining order and told Damps he will be on the sex offenders’ register for ten years.
She added: "You’re very lucky to have your mum supporting you so much."
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