According to Gazette columnist ALAN HAYMAN, the Government scheme for deporting unwanted migrants to Rwanda lacks one vital feature if it's to run smoothly.

A NEW job beckons. Boris Johnson apparently wants me to design his planned Garden Bridge, linking Dover to Rwanda. It could cost many billions of pounds, but this will be money well spent if it provides a quick and easy way of packing unwanted migrants off to Africa.

It would of course be Mr Johnson's third and boldest attempt at building bridges. Started when he was Mayor of London, the original Garden Bridge project over the River Thames cost a reported £43 million in public money.

It was never actually built, after carping critics called the whole thing a Bojo vanity project. Next up came the so-called Celtic Crossing bridge designed to link Scotland with Northern Ireland.

That was costed in a government feasibility study last year at a paltry £335 billion, and worth every penny of that amount in my humble opinion. Sadly, Treasury cheeseparing left the Celtic Crossing dead in the water.

Now I hear the Prime Minister may be working on his finest project so far, a visionary design linking Kent with Kigali to speed up the removal of unwanted cross-Channel migrants.

Leaving satire aside for a moment, the Government seems to have largely copied its Rwanda scheme from the one run by Australia. The government there spent £461 million last year to process 239 asylum seekers and refugees held offshore in camps on the Pacific island of Nauru. That's keen value at roughly £1.9 million per migrant, so no wonder Australian taxpayers are pleased with the bargain they're so generously funding.

The Home Office is being coyly silent about the value and final cost of its own plan to outsource UK migrants to a small African country. And no wonder.

The scheme drafted by plodding civil servants relies on old-fashioned transport links like boats and aircraft. What we need is another Boris Bridge!

Soaring majestically across the Bay of Biscay, then over Spain and the Med, it would plunge onward to the heart of Africa.

When not needed for trafficking migrants, it would be an asset to the tourist trade. Millions of Britons who never planned to vacation in Rwanda could soon use the Boris Bridge for the holiday of a lifetime. Rwanda's ethnic genocide in 1994 which claimed upwards of half a million lives in tribal violence is now firmly in the past.

So British visitors can be sure of a warm welcome. They will also have a chance to see how their taxes are being used to house and feed the people from many nations that Britain didn't want.

These victims of war, crime, poverty and disease will surely feel far more at home in Rwanda than they ever would in the UK. We don't want people like that coming here, do we? Oh, unless of course they're Ukrainian.

However, any claims of double standards at the Home Office about this issue are surely unfair and misplaced. Priti Patel's department is actually even-handed in treating all its customers with equal levels of incompetence and hostility, wherever they come from.

The blue, yellow and green of Rwanda's national flag almost matches the colours of the Ukrainian flag that's being widely flown here at the moment. Some would say this can't just be a happy coincidence.