Burglar fled after being confronted by homeowner (From Maldon and Burnham Standard)

• "As local representative for the South Essex branch of the Union of Housebreakers and Burglars I wish to strongly protest on behalf of my members.
  We burglars play an important role in society, get no bailouts if our business fails, and are the subject of constant bad press. As one of the few growth industries, that is helping to put the country back on its feet by redistributing the nations wealth amongst the needy, we are playing a vital part in keeping both the tobacco and alcohol industries from going under. Our brothers in the Union of Drug Dealers believe that if it were not for us they would have to close their businesses, and resort to claiming benefits. Surely you cannot want to see so many people thrown out onto the streets.
  We look forward to the day when, once again, everyone can leave their front door open. And the back door. And a few windows."
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